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Record Number of Bigfoot-Related Disappearances Reported at Kennedy Mountain Campus
Raptor-Related Fatality Rate Soars at DU as University Accepts More Short Men
Taylor Swift Seen on Date with Jeremy Haefner
Quackmire Investigation Discovers DU Has a Policy of Affirmative Action for Short Kings
Weirdest Things Found on Facebook Marketplace by DU Students
Forbidden Romance Results in Funnier Skintight Outrage Performances & Better-Edited Clarion Articles
Breaking News: Clarion Reporters Detained
DU Finally Goes Green
DU Offers 1% Decrease in Tuition to Anyone Brave Enough to Slay the Dragon
DU Students Return from Spring Break to Find Massive Crater Where DU Used to be
The DU Clarion Wants Our Attention Because They Peaked in 1967
IT Guy Performs Intervention for Porn Addicted Student